Abercrombie

Spring!
Victory! I have made it through all of the harsh winter and still kept my beach blonde hair and orange skin. I must say i am very excited for the UV index increasing in the next month. Two weeks ago me and all my friends went to Italy, i had an awesome time, but the italian girls weren't digging the blonde hair and muscle thing, they like their guys... skinny...(eww). Anyway, I was also dissapointed that we did not go to Venice. My plan of tipping one of those boats while i was in it, and being forced to remove my shirt was ruined when i heard we could not go. But it's yea yea supercool because every night there was a different girl in my bed, one of them being Julia Straker. Straker and i have a dynamic relationship. We have so many common interests like being orange, being blonde, and being a hottie. She called me blessed, which i wasn't quite sure what it meant, but then she called some other guy cursed. I think she was either referring to my endowment, or my lack of back hair.
Speaking of hair, i find it to be repulsing. That's why i have taken the initiative to get waxed once a week on my 17 year old chest and firm buttox. Actually, i really don't have much hair but shaving it would leave stubble. I must say the waxing procedure is very unpleasant, but its alright because the little asian woman (My Trinh) always gives me the happy ending at no additional cost.
The other day was April 1, which means two things. 1. April Fools Day, when i totally tricked everyone into thinking i was going brunette, and 2. Notices from colleges. I recieved my acceptance months ago, but many of my ladies haven't. Two of my very special girls, My (waxing girl) and Gio are going to be attending UVA, which means they are in for many lucky nights.
With all of this college business going on i am not sure what to think anymore, i mean people say it should be my future, but i respond to their question with another one: why? i am living in the present aren't i. Then i follow it up with a yea yea supercool. Well, one night someone actually made me think of my future, at which point i realized i want to be a model/actor. I know i guess everyone knew i would end up to be a model, but I was never positive myself. With this new career in mind, i have started taking classes on how to walk like a model and how to be smug like a model. I am passing with flying colors.
I must say i am turning my back upon Abercrombie. They closed their store in Tyson's for a couple months and i think they are remodeling or making it more expensive. All i know is that the store front is covered up by some makeshift walls that read gruel. I am thinking they are hinting at drool, because their clothing makes you drool, at least when i wear it.
Well thats all the news i have for you so far. Here are a couple words of wisdom i will leave you with today.

1. You can never have too much bleach
2. Orange is the new tan (for your skin)
3. 6 rips for jeans has replaced 4.
4. It's appropriately called the happy ending
5. I still got to take my shirt off in italy.

Can you get tan in the snow?

So today is a day off from school because of the snow. I think it was a good decision because my rear-wheel drive M3 BMW could not handle these roads. But i must say i am very concerned. I had an appointment today (at the tanning salon of course) and im worried i will not be able to make it. If i don't make it then my worst fear will occur: being pale like the rest of the school because it is winter. I've decided to take matters into my own hands. I checked the UV index and it is a 3 which is rather low.. but the snow outside will reflect the light so then it will be like a 6 right? If i add some tanning oil and stay out for a couple of hours then maybe it will be equivalent to the 15 minutes in that little lighted bed.

Recently i switched to a different hair stylist. It's the homecoming queens mom. I mean shes pretty hot and she told me she always did models hair before runway shows and considering the fact that the hallway is my personal runway and im hotter than a model, it made sense. Also, this hair stylist cut the hair of Kirsten on the OC, i mean shes gotta be good then. Last time i went in though she started to color my hair and something backfired i think that the pigment in my hair has changed from all the fake tanning that something is making my hair turn.. well ... purple. *cries with a tissue by his side* *realizes tissue is used* *throws up* Valentine's day was not to long ago. I mean i didnt have a valentine because im a sensitive guy, if i chose one person than the other 23 bouquets of flowers that i got would not have been given to me. So many hearts would have been broken, except mine of course. Anyway, the day was really annoying cause i kept getting all these flowers and eventually they wouldnt fit in my locker so i started giving them to teachers and then they all thought i was hitting on them and then they did the "ill write you a bathroom pass if you'll hook up with me" face. And i mean some of them are really old teachers like.. Mrs. Keene. Sorry girl, your wrinkles scare me cause i believe my skin will be like that in a couple more years of solid tanning. One might say you "foreshadow" my skin. You see its funny cause i learned foreshadowing from her. *realizes i only learned foreshadowing a year ago.* The only girl i did keep the flowers from was Allison Kelley. Shes this girl who was on crew with me last year, she had these eyes that would like cross but i think she had a surgery to fix them. She lost some weight too. So yea.. shes the new flavor of the week. Wait did i say week? Because i meant long weekend.

We had a blood drive recently at our school and they wouldnt let me give blood. I am not quite sure i think they were worried about all the radiation in my body. Apparently radiation can go through the skin to certain organs and maybe even into the blood flow. They were giving me the iron test; they prick your finger and put it on this thing. Anyway i decided to have fun with it so spelled out the word hot with my blood. Then they turned me down. I don't know i thought it was a good thing though because if someone got my blood i bet they would start transforming into being.. hot.

That's all that has been going on in my life. Let me give you a list of what i am looking forward to.

1. Spring season at Abercrombie

2. Discount Month at Key West Tanning

3. UV Index increasing

4. Holly Sullivan in my bed

Post Christmas Pre New Year
Well Christmas has come and gone, and since im on break i have time to write to everyone. I got into my first and second choice colleges. I mean i guess i knew they would accept me. When i saw that they required a photo for the application, i knew they could not turn down me. I got a couple glamour shots done. First close ups with like the wind/fan in my hair. Then i took off my shirt. It's odd though. Some dean called me asking to go out to dinner with me to celebrate my admittance. She probably just wants some ass. I would give it to her, but since im already in, its probably just a waste of my time. On the flip side, i could get a total body work out (sex) but once again i am in. Let me know what you think. Do i do the frumpy dean or just let her buy me an expensive dinner and leave her on her ass, assless.

Well tomorrow I will ring in the new year with some of my well.. less genetically advantaged friends (its alright im hot and i love you anways). The attire is White and black, so i went and got a totally hot way too small shirt. I made sure my eight pack pops through it. Lucky for me im going to be the only kid that is not really pale looking from the black shirts because of my baked skin. Speaking of baked skin, i got my VIP pass to key west tanning last week. To become VIP you have to go at least 4 times a week for 6 months. Thanks to my vip status, i always get priority bedding, and the super 4000+ bed that is solely UVB light that tans the skin versus UVA light that burns it. Oh look at that UVA, i guess my soon to be school correlates to my tanning knowledge. Is it possible i got in because i know the difference between UVA and UVB light. Oh and with my VIP account, some asian lady comes at the end and gives me a hand job, now im kinda turning it down though because getting one like 4 times a week is kinda ridiculous.

Alright, sorry this is short, it's late, and i just got a call from Julia (Straker or Villageliu???) to have a hookup. Just remember, yea yea, supercool.

College
Sorry it has been so long since i have gotten back to you, but i have been working hard on my college applications. Do not worry, its not like i forgot about my dirty blonde hair and overradiated but golden orange skin. Its still at its peak.
I applied to UVA early decision and Tulane early action. I am hoping for UVA because whenever i visit i see people with their collars popped. This brings a smile to my face and a tear to my retina burned eye. Also, all the girls at UVA are really hot in their abercrombie frayed skirts that are basically see through. And the ones that don't wear see through skirts, wear short ones, so I am seeing a lot of vagina a lot of the time. (Especially karyn's i mean despite her boyfriend, her sexual tension builds up and she lusts me a lot. I mean maybe her boyfriends endowment is not sufficient and therefore no pleasure is felt.) Anyways, back to UVA, i find out next wednesday and i will try my hardest to post an entry if i get accepted. I realized that if i get accepted then i will basically be the best ever. I mean im hot, tan, blonde, smart, and well the homecoming king.
Have i even updated my journal since i won HOMECOMING KING? I must say, i was not surprised, not only did everyone vote for me, but everyone then hooked up with me after, just don't tell the queen, Hewah Bahrami.
Otherwise, i am very excited for the holiday season. The new shopping bags at abercrombie are out, and so are the starbucks cups. All of these things are what makes the holidays great. But i must say, those cheesy gap commercials with the snow and the scarfs are not cool. Those girls are wearing way to much clothing for me. I mean if its cold, its not even an issue for girls, its not like they have to deal with shrinkage, unlike karyns boyfriend.
I think its time for me to reapply the aloe to my back, for some reason i fell asleep in the tanning booth and now im like.. burnt. But im probably just burnt because im so hot.

supercool
Well guys, i havent written in this for a while because I've been so busy with summer. The tanning procedure is underway, and luckily for me, my dermatologist only found four cancerous moles that he has to remove. Last summer, i had a record of 7.

Furthermore, summer has brought out more time for me to catch up on the latest trends from california. I now have four pairs of mocasins in different colors with different types of laces that go around the side. Also, my shag haircut is progressing nicely, especially in the areas of my head that get minimal sun in treatment. (Let me tell you these areas are very small).

Anyway, my summer could be described in three words, yea yea supercool. Or wait.. is that four words? I like this new catch phrase its like cheesy with a preppy twist. Let me explain to you how to use this phrase. Let's say i was driving to the movies and my cousin was in the car, and he was telling me about how great his life is.. i would say, yea yea supercool. Or it can be used in a totally different sense. Let's say i was asked a question and i didnt really know the answer, i just kind of look to the sky (be careful not to stare directly into the sun)and say yea yea supercool. For some reason, it works with a lot of people. However i think they might just understand that im so burnt out from all the uv radiation i have endured that yea yea supercool is appropriate for me. The second approach to yea yea supercool is much riskier because if you werent a brain dead blonde prep then it might not be appropriate to use because people will expect more of you. *thinks* did i just call myself a brain dead prep?? Please, i really dont know.

Currently i am very distraught because my brand new picture phone is out of service due to water damage. THe best part of the phone was my ability to take pictures of myself and then see what i look like at all times. It was a pocket mirror that provided telephone and text messaging service by giving out radiation. I tend to find a lot of the things i do involve a lot of radiation. *Thinks cancerous moles has grown bigger since i tanned today*.

Here is the chorus to a new song i am working on.
(you can sing it to the beat of the ants go marching on)

Why oh why did you leave me?!
Yea yea supercool
Why oh why wont you tell me?!
Yea yea supercool
Just give me one more chance!
Yea yea supercool

This might also help you understand how to use yea yea supercool in the correct context. These questions i ask in the first and third line i really dont know the answer to. Yea yea supercool saves me the time of thinking of the answers, its kind of like a default on a computer. Did i just degrade myself to have the intelligence of a machine? No no, actually i think i complemented myself by saying i have the intelligence of a machine. Ok well i have to get my beauty rest. Goodnight.

Summer time
Well summer officially started for me like 2 days ago. I have been gone with my parents in europe where i totally picked on them for not realizing the straight collar chant. I would yell things like "where your abercrombie at?" and "have you guys not invented starch?!" They looked at me funny.. *realizes* wait.. maybe since they spoke a different language they didnt understand me. *stoops* maybe i looked like a deranged hobo with my collar up. Shit, well thats ok.

Europe is quite interesting. They where these like man purses on the sides of their bodies like everyone! I dont understand why they would need one when there are like 30 big ass pockets on the sides of my abercrombie pants. A lot of shit fits in there too. I mean. I suppose that they are just behind on everything cause.. well they still dont have tennis shoes but like nice shoes. Crazy europeans and there clothes. *realizes clothes are actually nicer*.

Anyway, i met some people on the boat despite the average age to be about 90. I saw three people have heart attacks on the elevators. And when walking around the boat a paramedic was in all the rooms to insure no hip breaking was going to go down. Despite all these old folks, the people i met were rather interesting. Not as preppy as other friends, however there minds were far beyond the abercrombie thinking. Weird, why would anyone want to not have bleached and torn jeans. The constant shrinkage that occurs is worth it, even when you fall on your knees and scrape them even worse because your jeans already have a huge hole in them.

question of the day

Should i give up my palm beach tan membership now that there is real sun outside?
I need responses here because i am quite confused.

During my vacation i fell into quite a pit of misery. My can of starch is aerosol. And due to new airport regulations it could potentially explode so i couldnt bring it. I was assured i would find it again in europe but like i said they are still far behind on that kinda stuff so i could not find any>

well my computer is having major problems so i cannot really write much more however i will have a better updation soon.

My return
Well guys it has been a long couple of months since i've written in this thing. However, there is a number of reasons. First, during crew practice, i was checking my reflection on the water and forgot about keeping pace with the other people. At which point my oar caught the water (a crab) and flew me out of the boat giving me a major bruise on my head. I had like 3 concussions and i was unable to think straight for like a monht. I mean month.. wait which won is it?

Then after i recovered from that.. i got myself back on track at my local tanning salon. Prom was coming up so i decided to look even hotter by getting some extra minutes in the booth. I would have primo dark skin. Unfortunately. I feel asleep in the booth.. and so did the stupid cashier. Or maybe he was in the back room jacking off like one of those skeevy losers. So an hour later. I wake up to see my skin like a lobsta. And im not talking about a raw lobsta.. but a cooked one! THEY TURN REALLY DARK! Kinda like my skin. So sad. It took me a week and a half to recover from this. (However the tan i got after the burnt went away was primo) (totally worth the skin cancer i will now recieve twenty years earlier) *thinks about chemo* *realizes hair falls out* *cries and bangs table with head* *another concussion*

On the bright side.. All this time i was out of my mind let the new seasons of clothing arrive at abercrombie. There new graphic tees that have a racial/insulting innuendo to them are quite amusing. They are kind of like urban outfitters without the prepiness or intolerant shirts. During my online shopping. I went to sharperimage.com to find the best invention in the world. A battery powered pocket hair straightener. I mean now i totally keep it in my abercrombie messenger bag and i never have to worry about my collar losing its straight/stiff/kinda irritating to the skin, angle. Also, apparently there is better stuff than starch to keep collars up. Abercrombie makes it. You spray it on while the shirt is on and it kinda gives you a rash behind your neck but i think it is supposed to so that you never fold your collar and reveal the puss and redness. I must say im very happy with this product.

Anyways, school is about to end as all of us no. This is good and bad. It is good because now my tan will never fade for the next three months, i can show off my rock hard body, put down the top in my M3 convertible, and... no school. However, when there is a lack of school there is a lack of women around you at all times. Unless your at a strip club but thats also filled with a lot of skeevy losers who've never gotten ass in their life. Also, i cant give my face "wanna hook up after class in the bathroom" face. Now ive gotta change that junx to "wanna hook up in the boatshed after we go shopping/tanning/swimming?"

Furthermore, with the end of school, comes the end of shows on tv. The finale of OC (riveting! TWO THUMBS UP! ALL COLLARS FACING TO THE SKY!) i am lost on how to portray luke even more. Not to mention he left the show like three episodes before the season finale. Stupid car accident. Damn Julie Cooper for breaking his heart! If Ann Gordon ever did that to me i would probably go and crash my car after i drank too much. Speaking of Gordon. Karyn, my EX-girlfriend, is having a great time celebrating her one month anniversary with David Schlashmann, the track captian or something. All i know is that he wears his lacoste shirts with his collar down and his cowboy hat is such a failed attempt to make a fashion statement. All in all, Karyn is dating a failure. However, I wont let that get me down, now i have even more girls. Well i'm probably rambling at this point (is my breath ok?) so i will let you go.

Glad to be back.

business class
Im in class right now. We are in the lab. Its nice because i keep using the command prompt to send subtle messages to people i wanna hook up with after class. They look around at first and then i send them a message about where i am.

I like command prompt because i dont have to use my "lets hookup after class face."

Im sitting next to julia and sarah. But they are giving me funny looks because i am not sending them any messages. I mean i could but i think that im already deserved.

This is a conversation she is having with me on Aim Express:

remotelyqueued44:hey wuts ^ cutie? ;)
no1perks: i thought you didnt want to hook up with me anymore
remotelyqueued44: just teasing...what u ^ to after class? wanna walk to my locker with me?
no1perks: duh.
remotelyqueued44: k.
no1perks: but i have to be at key west tanning at 2:15 exactly for my appointment.
remotelyqueued44: k.
remotelyqueued44: how do you get that collar so straight?
no1perks: i bought a new ceramic flat iron which i use along with 11 sprays of starch.
remotelyqueued44: ur hot.
no1perks: i kno.

whatever.. whats wrong with a random hookup. Hopefully karyn won't walk in on us. Whatever i have her down later today. She is still getting her chance

Ok the bell is about to ring. I gotta go back to the mirror.

Smile cause im hot.
Well i haven't updated in a while. But now i have a lot to talk about. Im not really gonna go in chronological order im just gonna say things as they come.

I saw Smile the play today. Julie Shroll, Leyla Baboglasdskye, and Natalie Chami were all in it. Of course many others. But those were the only three on stage i haven't hooked up with. But i have a feeling Leyla is all into me.
They were singing a lot, But a couple of them had this fake spray tan. And i was like dude.. that is obviously not a Key West Tan job, you mustve wanted to be orange so you went to Hollywood Tan. I gave them some tips about the tanning salon. You know going over the ropes .. teaching them the tanning salon lingo.

Here is an example.

If you wanted to say: Last time i got burnt. You would say: Last time, dem lights cooked a lobsta. And they are like.. oh ok gotcha.

Anyway. I offered them another class on the lingo. But they said no. So i was like fine I hope that lobsta pinches you. Which is tannish for I hope you get burnt next time.

My M3 Convertible is giving me problems so i took it to the dealer and the guy was all greasy and wanted to shake my hand. And i was like.. "sorry i already applied my lavender apple lotion on today" At which point he gave me this weird look.. It kinda looked like my hookup face. So i drove my car very far and fast.

Im reading this new book. It's about style... its called "How to look Preppy without Abercrombie" I'm kinda against the book even though it does offer other solutions (American Eagle) but its getting me interested in new stores like French Connection and Kenneth Cole. So when i went there they all had on these black shoes and their collars weren't straight and the hair was BROWN.. and they weren't built. And i didnt see all semi-nude posters of girls and guys. So i was like.. i'm leaving. But then this guy was like.. "can i help you" and i was like AHH TAKE THIS.. ITS MY SUN IN! At which point i ran outta the store and into abercrombie. It was a close call guys. But i got outta there with my blonde hair still intact.

Im gonna go and read this book. And then probably right a letter to the author about the warnings he must provide before telling us to just "walk" into these stores.

M3
Well, today i got a new car. I like it a lot.. but its really just a newer version of my old car. Its a BMW convertible M3. I made sure i got the convertible so in the summer my tan and bleach blonde hair will always be nourished by the sun.

It goes fast, which is good for me, because a lot of chents in culmore chase me down when im in it. I guess its cause im so hot. But i never knew so many gay people with guns lived in culmore. They run really fast and yell words like.. MUERE and "voy a matarte!" what does that mean?

I got these really nice rims on the car.. they are nice and shiny so i can see my distorted reflection in them. Oddly enough, i still look hot when my face is all stretched on the uneven metal. Wait.. oddly? I mean obviously.

Karyn asked me for a ride in it and i gave her one. We went to Key West Tanning Salon. But..we just hooked up in the light bed. Now i have this weird tan all over me. Its like on half my body and all uneven. Damn her, i told you she'd make me uglier.

When i was leaving the tanning salon, this guy approached me outta the blue, except it was kinda outta the white cause he was in this ugly snowman jacket. He asked me if i had ever thought about modeling. And i was like.. Bitch look at me. obviously im a model. He gave me his card, but the company had already been my agent before. So i said, no bitchass you betta watch yourself. Then i cried cause i realized it was a gangsta phrase, not a preppy one. So then i went back to him and was like. Straighten your collar.

When i was taking Karyn home, i had the bass in my car way up, i was listening to Maroon 5. And these black people rolled up and were like.. "Yo foo. That bass is off the page." I didn't know what this new phrase meant, so i checked the drivers manual, only to find the answer to my question to be cut off the page. *still confused by phrase*

During crew practice today , i saw that girl allison (with the crossed eyes) again. Luckily her eyes weren't crossed. And then i saw her and her collar was perfectly straight. This was quite nice. Karyn, you have competition as long as Allison's eyes stay straight and looking at me.

I found out today that Hollister is the California branch of Abercrombie. I suppose i can accept now. However I'm still skeptical of their muscle shirts and surfboards.

I was thinking today about my prospects when i grow older, and celebrities that are equal in hotness to me that i could be with. Here's my list

1. Jessica Simpson
2. Jessica Alba (if she loses the ghettoness)
3. Jennifer Aniston (why is she with brad when im available)
4. Nicole Kidman (but starting to get wrinkles *scared face*)
5. Cindy Crawford
6. Christie Turlington
5. Katie Holmes
6. Allyssa Milano
7. Rena Sofer (also pushing the age)
8. Britney Spears (a drunk hookup would be better)
9. Shakira (if she can still shake those hips)
10. Mischa Barton

Really i can't think of others. I think mischa barton is my best prospect because shes closest to my age.. and she dated Luke on the OC. Could there be a better person?

Ok guys, im gonna go do homework, (why.. I'm too hot for hw) and i gotta take this ab belt off.. It's starting to smoke. Again.

Am i wrong?
Today is a monday, and it kinda sucks.. Because it's a monday. But what can i really do about the topic.. besides look hot.

Over the weekend i went shopping and after following some of my uglier friends, they led me into American Eagle. Tricky bastards told me it was abercrombie. But as soon as i saw the eagle logo instead of the moose, i knew exactly where i was. *upset over friends deep deception* I tried not to look around, cause if i liked something i would feel like a traitor to my store across the mall. Abercrombie. Unfortunately this plan did not work. I saw these cargo pants. You know the ones with all those random cords off of it that always get stuck in the escalator. Or someone steps on them when your walking. *thinks of moment this happen when i broke nose after falling flat on face* *cries because nose is now more crooked* *cries more becausesinuses hurt because sinuses were deformed after the breaking* Anyways, these pants were kinda nice. They had all those baggy pockets too. You know the ones you can carry like four beer cans in. Or in my case, a large mirror.

This new shopping revolution requires a poem:

Ever notice
How much
AE is like AF
I mean the clothes
are the same.

It is very apparent
AE tries to be like AF
They have the same initials except one extra line on the bottom of the F

Can i accept this?
Should I buy more clothes from AE?
Or should i just put more Sun In in and think its all ok?

Is it right to use Sun In as a temporary blonde high?

Will you hook up with me?

This whole Karyn thing is kinda fun, i mean im really only using her to get closer to her mom. *thinks of ms. gordon* *hopes she doesn't read this* But i mean karyn is a nice girl. And im a generous guy to be with her. *looks for CAS forms* I think shes trying to be like me though. She told me she wanted to start a live journal. It makes me happy how people strive so hard to be like the hot guy that i am.

I had Crew practice today. I kinda dominated the ERG just like i dominate the lion when im hunting it after i apply fierce. This girl allison, was giving me those eyes, you know the ones that accidently cross and stay crossed?
Shes in my yearbook class. I talk to her but thats so she will only put more pictures of me in the yearbook. I hope her eyes separate.

Well thats all of my day. Im just thinking about how to help Allison uncross her eyes. *finds CAS forms* Ok. I gotta go catch up on all my service hours. Later.

this girl.
Well yesterday, was made wonderfully preppy (you know those days when you smell Fierce all around you) from the OC episode. Wowwwwwwwww... finally, that psycho Oliver was found out. I happy Seth broke up with anna cause shes way too... emo/punk/some style i dont care about. *laughs heartily looking down at people who aren't preps* Summer is so much better for him in so many ways. Its meant to be.

I'm liking luke even more now, cause hes all like.. yea man..

I mean wait.. he's all like.. Oliver's crazy.

While watching OC I was putting sunless tanner on because the whole tanning salon is just not working well. And i realized it makes you grow old faster. *breaks bottle and points to face to threaten skin not to get wrinkles* It worked, i see results, but im kinda orange... I was upset by this.. but then i watched the OC and realized they were all orange too. Oh and then i saw christina aguilera and she was orange.
And then i saw JLo and she was all orange. So i figure people dont notice it. *looks at hand and confuses it with the orange sitting next to it*

I'm starting to get interested in this girl. I mean.. being monogamous can't be so hard right? Plus Im so much hotter than her that she owes her life to me cause when im in a twenty foot radius of her.. i make her look better. The girls name is Karyn Gordon. She has blonde hair and white teeth (not as white as mine). It's kinda a charity case to date her.. but i need CAS hours. So i figure i can put it down as service.

Song of day i played on my acoustic guitar:

I know that i have made mistakes
But i swear they are small
I don't know if you should get mad
Was it because i wore the plaid pajamas last night.
Or was i just too drunk and didn't put on Fierce cologne.

I take a breath
Pull the air in until i fill my lungs with Fierce
It kinda burns
The stale taste of recycled air. Put more fierce on me

PUHLLEEASSSEEEEEEE Forgive me
PUHLEEAAAASSEEEEE I will hook up with you

Then i realize
Im hotter than you
so i step back
and put my plaid pajamas back on
and slap you

You jump on me
You kiss me
I push you
away
Please get off of me
im getting uglier by the second
Im suffocating
And i die.

I hope you guys like it.. you can sing it to the tune of mary had a little lamb.

I gotta start tabulating the hours spent with Karyn on my CAS forms. Maybe i will call her so i can put more down.

Final Thought:
Since i strive so much to be like Luke. If he hooks up with Marissa's mom, should i hook up with Karyn's mom? I mean .. shes still got it going on at least when the wine is in her.

Too much
OC was on tonight guys. Too much is going through my brain. Its gonna take me a day to sort things out. *tries to think deeply but can't cause the bleach is soaking through*.

I want more UV rays.
Ever think about the summer? You know when you get to show off your ripped abs and built pecs? Cause i do. I love swimming. Well not the action.. but the sitting around and getting tan and having hot ladies stare at you.

This leads me to my question. When will i get tan again? Now im just orange (damn tanning salon) but i guess i like it. When im in those little light chambers.. I think a lot. and i mean a lot. You know like the stuff normal people think about. Like.. did i put too much sunscreen on? Although subway has 6 grams of fat. How many grams of protein? And most importantly. Could you just pour bleach on your hair to bleach it blonde?

After a comment from one of yesterday's admirers. I got angry. This person mentioned the store Hollister. I was hoping this name would never be brought up because very few people know of it. But now that it has been made public. I want you to know that Hollister is a wannabe AF that fails miserably for many reasons.
1. Too cheap.
2. Surfboards? I mean who even uses those things these days, they are called Segways.
3. Drift cologne. Once again its all about fierce (you get the hunt a lion feeling) where as when you apply Drift, you feel like a piece of wood that has been in the ocean for a long time. What are they called again? Oh right.. driftwood. *looks down as i realize how slow I am* *stays down admiring the plaid boxers im wearing* *looks up wishing they were striped boxers*

I haven't had a poem of the day in a while, but i feel the Hollister topic requires one.

Why do

You try

To be

Like Abercrombie?

Your surfboards hit me

Last time i was in your store

Your cologne made me tired

Like wood.

Your californian attitude

Makes the east coast look

Less cool.

Please stop.

And so will I

With this

Meaning

Full

Poem.

We had another white day today. and it made me upset for another reason this time. My classes are so short. So when i daydream about doing myself, they are always cut about 50 minutes short because of the damn bell. I accidently stayed in my business class. I mean im next to the window, and it had a reflection. A reflection of me. *thinks of self* *drools*

Some people might say i shouldn't be so self absorbed. And i usually tell them that.. well the only thing i'm absorbing right now.. are the fake ultraviolet rays of the tanning salon. When i say this, they look confused. Then they hook up with me. After i push them off. I go to the bathroom and stand by the window hoping some rays of light will shine through the thick glass. But it just hurts my eyes. *tries to look around but all i see is spots from looking at the sun too much*.

Thats all for today guys. I'm gonna go under my navy blue Abercrombie blanket and watch One Tree Hill, and give Brooke, the "lets hookup after the show" face.

Will i grow old?
So today i was at home because i was sick. It was sad because there wasn't anyone in the bathroom to hookup with. Except my bar of soap and cup of potpouri. But that's a last resort. *thinks if making out with soap is gross*.

I woke up all sick so i just went back to bed. I needed my beauty rest. When i finally got up at ten i looked at my Abercrombie striped pajamas. I can't decide if i like the striped pajamas or plaid ones more. I mean plaid has the lines going both way (2 in 1) and stripes only go down the pants. I mean who can say what is better? Is it fair to myself to rate Abercrombie clothes. They are all an 11 in my book. I am gonna stop this conversation with myself before i start crying in the realization that stripes are obviously better. *puts head down and cries on table but acts like im just tired*.

With all the time on my hands i had time to wonder what will happen when i grow old? Will i become saggy? *shudders*. Or even worse, will my teeth go yellow or fall out? *yells like a girl* I don't think its fair. People who look as good as me should be exempted from growing old. It's a crime against nature. Maybe when i reach 37.2 (the time wrinkles begin to set in) they will have some technology where i sleep in a timeless tube. *smiles but then frowns after realization that this will never happen*

I walked out in my flip flops today. And then i slipped on the ice and hit my ripped buttox on the asphalt. I was bummed out. Furthermore and more sadly, the cold air chapped my lips. I was mortified because i could feel them getting all dry. I asked myself why my life sucks. But about 3 seconds later i looked at myself, realized my hotness, and said alone in the woods "i guess i have to be punished to make up for my ripped, tan body, white teeth, blonde hair, (thanks to sun in) and strong jaw bone."

My final philosophical moment occured as i slipped a second time in the same place on the ice when walking inside. *puts head down knowing to walk in the same place was dumb* *puts head up cause i just saw myself and realized how hot i was* *puts head back down cause i want to see my hot body* *finally puts head up to continue typing* so then my philosophical moment was- do ugly people never get chapped lips. Because that would make more of a balance right?

Well i've just thought too much, i think im gonna go drink some whey protein and put my ab belt on that stimulates muscles through electricity so i continue to have ripped abs.

Well sorry i haven't written anything about my perfect life in a couple of days. But let me fill you in now.

I've been reading a book, kinda similar to Gossip Girl except the manly version. It's called Gossip Guy. It's about some guy that has a lot of gossip in his life. The reason i like it is because he is constantly tortured by the preppy image everyone must undergo.

Yesterday i spent much of my time strategically ripping my abercrombie pants in the right place. You know.. you gotta make it look vintage cause that's the preppy style now. The pants have one tear near the crotch (just in case any of you ladies want to get a feel for what's inside, a hole is there) one by the knee (to make me look like im tough and fell real bad on myself when i was "walking") and finally the one near the leg to make it look like i was biking and the chain got stuck on my pants. You know.. when the chain gets stuck on your pants and rips them the you shed a tear for the grease marks you know you will soon have to get out. *girly tear*.

Tomorrow there is a White day at school. This dissapoints me because we only have five minutes between classes not 8. How am i supposed to give anyone my "lets hookup after class in the bathroom" face and follow through?! Five minutes isn't enough time to run to my locker and back.

I gotta go and starch my collar guys. Talk to you later. Or as they say in gossip guy- "I'll chatter with you at another time"

I want to hunt a lion
Well today we didn't have a two hour delay but at least i got my 2.5 hours in to prepare my hotness *so proud*. As i was preparing i realized the intensity and powerfulness of my Fierce Abercrombie cologne. I spray it once. Then twice. And realize maybe i need more. So i spray it again. Whenever i smell it i feel like some strong guy. You know when you get that feeling to hunt a lion. You just feel like chasing it down, jumping on it, and eating the insides out. I think the name Fierce applies well cause i am just that rabid when i smell it.

My english class is so boring. I mean im like the hottest one in their, and all the girls are so below my standard. I can't do my "lets hookup in the bathroom after class" face to anyone for two reasons. I am so much hotter than them. Or, they already know the face and have participated in the hook up. Damn i wish someday it will be a challenge to get a girl.

After school. I went to GNC to stock up on creatine and whey protein. Essentials for a ripped body like me. Then I went to crew practice and destroyed the erg. I could kinda see my reflection in the screen and since im so hot i was able to forget about the pain i was enduring. Whatever its only contributing to make me even more buff (if there's such a thing).

Ok guys thats all. Im gonna go to the mirror now and look pose. Maybe i will make a new "lets hookup after class" face i could call it the "lets hookup after school" face.

Is it a rerun tonight?

I was thinking and hoping OC wouldn't be a rerun tonight. But I think it is. It will dissapoint me but at least I can still strive to be as preppy as Luke. God. I want blonder hair and a better smile.

I went to bubbles today to buy a flat iron. Im gonna keep it on me at all times to make sure my collar will always be straight. Also i think i will fill a little bottle of starch and keep it in my locker. The collar may be so stiff that it will chafe my neck, but thats what it takes to look as hot as me.

I woke up late for school today even though we had a two hour delay. This ruined my day. I didn't have enough time to get ready. I mean 2 hours is too little! I had a wrinkle in my collar that wouldn't leave me alone. Also, my conditioner did not have enough time to soak in and give my hair the nutrients it needs so i can have beautiful blonde hair. Furthermore and most tragically. I couldnt get the angle on my trucker hat right. I dont know what was wrong with me. I must not have slept on the right side of the bed, I mean the left side, but I mean the right side, which is the left side if you know what I mean. Occasionally I switch sides. This must have been one of those nights *manly tear*

Anyways so i gotta go work on my biceps and triceps. Maybe my hamstrings. I need your advice guys. Do I need better hamstrings?

When will summer come?
So i went to the mall today on my day off. And i saw these big emo losers. With their hair all dirty. Naturally they were crying. I kinda laughed at them but i think they think i liked them.. PUHHHLLEEAASSEEE i have hot blonde chicks to fuck, why would i ever want an emo crying girl?

Then i went to cvs to buy some teeth whitener. All preps should have white teeth with blonde hair.

At the mall i also saw this guy in abercrombie and his collar wasnt up at all. I was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS STORE YOU DISGRACE TO PREPS! I intervened because i couldn't bear this guy being so wannabe preppy. He said he was sorry but i dont really care. Anyone who does that deserves to be kicked out of abercrombie.

Poem of the day:

When will I

Have whiter teeth?

When will I

Get to see the new season of clothes at abercrombie?

When will I

Ever take this Sun In out?

When will I

Learn to accept non-preps?

Never

Thought of moment:

I want to lift more.

Thats all for today. I guess i will go make a cd of bands who relate to my perfect hot life.

When will OC come on again?
God everyday i just want to be more like luke from oc. I mean what a cool guy. I dont think i have seen him without all Abercrombie on. And hes blonde and he dated that hot girl marissa.

Thought of moment:

When can i go tanning again?

After watching OC i just have this urge to party, go to the mall, and do something dramatic. Like that Oliver guy.

Man i was totally checking out this girl like ten minutes ago. But then i realized she was on a tv show and it would never work out.

Second thought of moment:

Should i take the SUN IN out yet?

Thats all guys. Im gonna go dress in my plaid pajamas and go to sleep.

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